5 pm yesterday officially marked the end of my maternity leave. How fast it has flown by. Looking at her now, I am still astounded at how much she's grown. In front of my very eyes. There are times when I'll scratch my head and wonder, how did she get so big? My baby is not so much a baby anymore. Even though I was with her every single one of those days, I feel like I missed something. And I'll wish that there was a rewind button somewhere for me to be able to relive those days, to experience it all over again, to ensure that I didn't miss a single second of it. And it makes me wish that none of that time was wasted with the unimportant things.
She goes to daycare on Monday. As I watched her sleep tonight, I started calculating. She'll be spending more time with the teachers at the daycare than with my husband and I. And then I started bawling. What if through time, she starts preferring them? Will she forget me? Right now, I'm the one she wants when she's really upset, tired, etc. What if there comes a time in the near future when she's crying out for comfort but she doesn't want it from me? Please say it isn't so. I wouldn't be able to bear it, my heart would break.
I miss her already.